Without going into a lot of detail here (because that’s not what this blog is about), I’ve been having a lot of increased physical problems lately. Walking has become very difficult and awkward at times and I am in a lot of pain. My most recent MRI results are not good. I am still awaiting further details that I will hopefully get from upcoming appointments with my orthopedic and a neurologist.
Things have been pretty scary recently and I’m kind of floating back and forth between feeling strong & faithful, and being scared. I am trying to spend my time well. Focusing on my family, prayer, trying to distract myself from what is going on whenever possible, and trying to still enjoy what I can. One of the things I really enjoy is taking photos of little creatures I find interesting. During one of my lower moments recently when I was talking with my husband about my fears and disappointments. I said how I’d really enjoyed doing this blog so far and I had hoped when I started it that maybe my health would eventually improve somehow and I could eventually branch out and photograph more things – i.e. outside of my own backyard. (No matter what the doctors have told me, I just don’t really picture this being the rest of my life. Maybe I’m in denial, but I still hold hope for improvement. If for no other reason than the fact that I know that God could do anything within his power if he so chooses.)
And in my mopey moment I said that now with the way things have went and my new symptoms, I didn’t even know if it was worth even attempting to continue this blog. My husband said, “Why?” I said, “Well I probably have plenty of older photos to get me through winter easily. If I start to pull things out from the past. But what about after that? What about going forward? I am not able to go far. If that doesn’t change, or gets worse, how will I find anything to photograph or blog about in the first place? And if all I can do is what I have been able to do lately, eventually people will tire of seeing photos of the same 3 or 4 things all of the time. And it makes me sad, as I really wanted to try to document as much as I could here.” He said, “Well that is what you do. You continue to do whatever you can.”
I don’t think I said anything after that, and just kind of contemplated that for a moment. And after awhile thinking, I figured he was right. I should approach this blog just like anything else I have in my life right now. Continue to do what I can. It’s not like I think this blog is of extreme importance in the world or anything. But it does matter to me. It is something left that I enjoy, whether anyone else does or not. Of course it is nice when other people do too. So I prayed and thanked God for what I have been able to do lately and committed myself again to continuing to fight this stuff however I can. And to continue living my life to the fullest, whatever that is going to be.
Anyway, there is a point to me posting this. Since that day, I have had regular opportunities to photograph things, shockingly close to my house. Even inside my house at times, LOL. Everything you’ve seen posted on this blog photographed by me recently has been photographed without me being more than 10 feet from my house. I have lived in this house on two separate occasions. I’ve spent a combined total of roughly 29 years living here so far. In that time, we’ve never seen a snake in the house. Not once. But I did now. We’ve seen one skink in the house, maybe two – Total. Until now. Now, we’ve had 3 inside within the past two months. (All safely captured and returned outside I might add.) And no, we don’t have some new found entry way into the home. The skinks are literally running in the door when it is open as someone walks out. I had never gotten the opportunity to photograph a skink’s recently dropped tail. Lately that has happened three times. Rabbits are back in the yard this year for the first time since I was a teenager. Squirrels are coming all the way into the yard for the first time ever (although I am fairly sure the squirrels can be attributed to the lack of nut/berry mast this year – their food). We have seen more black rat snakes this year than ever before. This week we had a bat hanging on our back door. And I had never in all my life (a great bit of which was spent outdoors before my illness), ever saw an Eastern Worm Snake. I always wanted to. But I never did. And today… I saw three. Three! All together in my yard, all within 10 feet of my house.